This life as me, searching, interpreting, making sense of what's happening or going on - past, present and future. Gathering information, feeling, responding and reacting - with a need to defend, protect and do / be right.

All the while yearning for love, acceptance and belonging. Hearing loves call yet, trying to earn it through good deeds, making something of myself in this life. Contributing to the world in some meaningful valuable way.

All natural it seems as the story goes ...

It all appears as the platform: Darrel - swaying with circumstances and occurrences trying to understand, process and live life as this conceptual bundle of forever vacillating input of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and experiences. Wanting to live life as someone special, kind and purposeful...etc.

Yet, as this life - failure is seen as often. Body health, purposeful employment, earning love as this self for self and others - a struggle, at best temporary success in some of life's many daily challenges.

As awareness arises, as it is seen, felt and realized through this life experience - I feel love, compassion and peace... as being, the simple inexpressible profoundness of being.

Oh yes, there are desires which arise from the platform of Darrel, which grab onto this "knowing" and plan lofty things... healing, success and doing great deeds in the world. Yet, with this identification too, judgement soon arises, the feeling of separateness and self-important Darrel plays out.

Time seems the enemy (mortality), pain is felt - self worth is evaluated based on stature, friends and a determination of how free I am in this moment - free from all the struggle. The game begins to rid myself of the game. Another strategy is conceived to live life as true knowing, the divine oneness, you know the spiritual lofty stuff!

Read more books, talk to someone who lives as the enlightened self - all this from the platform of Darrel. It is summed up at times as not a bad life in the scheme of things, it could be worse right? Yes, the evaluation continues - measuring life, self and meaning.

A deeper yearning arises... as this life is seen through - success with failures, pain with pleasure, madness with sanity ...

A crack in the foundation appears ... light streams in as day break

A timeless sensation of warmth and knowing arises in my chest... a feeling of well-being

... compassion is felt - joy arises.

A realization of what I think I know or don't know ... is what it is, a realization.

The need for a spiritual GPS to evaluate where Darrel is in the scheme of things is met with laughter and great compassion.



Love and joy dwell - experienced as this very present awareness.